ifs and ans

noun

hypotheticals; counterfactuals; things that one only wishes were the case

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Meanings

nounifs and ans pl (plural only)
  1. pluralplural onlyhypotheticals; counterfactuals; things that one only wishes were the case

    Away with these ifs and ans, Hans, and these et caeteraes, by mine honor Rowland Lacy none but the king shall wrong thee: […]

    c. 1599, Thomas Dekker, The Shoemaker's Holiday
    2 more examples

    "Oh!" quoth the Emperor, "Oh, excellent oats! . . . you feed your horses upon ifs and ans. The man that invented ifs and ans certainly made gold of chopped straw! […]

    1865, The Musical World, page 46

    And yet such is the constitution of the human golfing soul that it not only fails to achieve it, but invents for itself multiform and manifold ifs and ans for not achieving it— […]

    1912, Percy Adolphus Vaile, The Soul of Golf

Origin

From the old rhyme "if 'ifs' and 'ans' were pots and pans, there'd be no work for tinkers" (and variations). Compare if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. See an in archaic sense meaning "if".

Full word history & related roots →
Cite this entry
APA

ifs and ans. (n.d.). In WatkinsX Dictionary. Retrieved November 5, 2026, from https://dictionary.watkinsx.com/word/ifs%20and%20ans

MLA

“ifs and ans.” WatkinsX Dictionary, https://dictionary.watkinsx.com/word/ifs%20and%20ans. Accessed November 5, 2026.

Chicago

WatkinsX Dictionary, s.v. “ifs and ans,” accessed November 5, 2026, https://dictionary.watkinsx.com/word/ifs%20and%20ans.

Source: ifs and ans on Wiktionary, CC BY-SA 4.0.