nicety

plural niceties

1. countableuncountableA small detail or distinction.

   We met the new captain while we were taking enemy fire and were unable to observe the niceties of formal introductions.

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   the fineness and niceties of words

   1689 (indicated as 1690), [John Locke], chapter 3, in An Essay Concerning Humane Understanding. […], London: […] Eliz[abeth] Holt, for Thomas Basset, […], →OCLC

   "But," the writer, Dr. Beattie, adds, "this is a needless nicety, and, if adopted, would introduce a confusion into the grammatical art. {...}"

   1872, Richard Grant White, Words and Their Uses, Past and Present, page 326

   It’s just that when I’ve been stripped of my possessions, my dignity and any semblance of personal space and then strapped in for a multihour spell in the world’s most cramped and crappy bar car, the little niceties go a long way toward keeping me – keeping everyone – sane.

   2012 June 13, Kat Kinsman, “That’s how the cookie (and a passenger’s calm) crumbles”, in CNN

2. countableuncountableSubtlety or precision of use; exactness; preciseness.

   A rocket-propelled grenade doesn't have the nicety of a sniper round, but you must admit its effectiveness.

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   Afterwards I took it back when it was borne in upon me startlingly with what extreme nicety he had estimated the time requisite for the ‘affair.’

   1899 February, Joseph Conrad, “The Heart of Darkness”, in Blackwood’s Edinburgh Magazine, volume CLXV, number M, New York, N.Y.: The Leonard Scott Publishing Company, […], →OCLC, part I, page 212

   [W]e cannot judge with exact nicety whether the hunter or the hunted has the greater dash of toe.

   1934, Henry G. Lamond, An Aviary On The Plains, page 210

3. countableuncountableA delicacy of character or feeling usually from excessive refinement; fastidiousness.

   [I]f you knew how Selina feels with respect to sleeping at an inn, you would not wonder at Mrs. Churchill’s making incredible exertions to avoid it. Selina says it is quite horror to her—and I believe I have caught a little of her nicety.

   1815, Jane Austen, Emma, volume II, chapter 18

4. countableuncountableSynonym of social nicety.

   Both anthems were booed beforehand. It was never going to be a night for niceties.

   2024 June 16, David Hytner, “Jude Bellingham gives England winning start but Serbia make Southgate sweat”, in The Guardian

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   To be sure, 2012 marks an emphatic end to the bygone courtesy of allowing the other campaign to have its convention moment. But the traditional nicety began unraveling at least two or three election cycles ago.

   2012 August 27, Alex Mooney, “No more niceness: Obama, Romney try to rain on each other’s parade”, in CNN

   “That was so lovely. But how come none of you ever said any of this to me?” “Because we're vampires, my squeaky-voiced, fucking berserk, nutjob, idiot friend. And sometimes we're not too good with the old niceties and kindness towards those we care about. But our hearts... are full of love.” “He's not wrong.” “I am so embarrassed.”

   2023 August 31, William Meny & Paul Simms, “A Weekend at Morrigan Manor” (23:20 from the start), in What We Do in the Shadows, season 5, episode 9, spoken by Laszlo Cravensworth (Matt Berry)

   Synonyms: social nicety

5. countableobsoleteuncountableThat which is delicate to the taste.

1. Behaving in an unpleasant or spiteful way that is seemingly, or perceived as, pleasant or agreeable.

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   Now, believe me, I know just how tempting it is to come back with a snarky reply in the comments of these videos. I've done it here and there just to scratch the itch. It's because I've had a lot of training on how to be nicety. It was a survival tactic at Tesla. It has literally become an automatic response for me.

   2025 April 14, Keena Blum, “What comes to your mind when you see these people?”, in things your mom should've told you (YouTube)