pillow princess

plural pillow princesses

1. slangA person (typically a lesbian) who wants to receive sexual pleasure but is not interested in giving it.

   These roles extended into the bedroom, where the butch would initiate and give sexual pleasure and the femme would play “pillow princess” and receive — never the other way around [...]

   1993, Bree Coven, Deneuve, volume 3, number 4, FRS Enterprises, page 64

   3 more examples

   Similarly, whereas pillow princesses and other femmes appear to fall in line with heterosexual conceptualizations of sexual roles for women, where the woman’s role is the passive and non-assertive partner, they represent radical departures in other respects. In particular, participants indicated that ultra femmes and pillow princesses fully expected that the sexual act ended with their sexual climax.

   2009, Bianca D. M. Wilson, “Black Lesbian Gender and Sexual Culture: Celebration and Resistance”, in Culture, Health & Sexuality, volume 11, number 3, →DOI, →ISSN, →JSTOR, page 309

   Also, just because a respondent identified as femme did not mean she was not involved in or interested in a reciprocal sexual relationship. Many femmes made sure to point out they were not “pillow princesses,” meaning they are not just receivers. “My current girlfriend is very masculine looking, but I am far more aggressive than her in the bedroom, I don’t know if I can say this …but, well, I am no “pillow princess” (Sara).

   2014, Joey Cooter, Butch, Femme, or Neither? What Owning These Identities Means, Johnson City, Tennessee: East Tennessee State University, retrieved 17 Jan 2022, page 31

   A soft fem may also be referred to as a “pillow princess”. The pillow princess expects to be catered to in bed and while she may demand oral sex, does not feel compelled to perform it on her partner.

   2017, Karen Carpenter, “Women Who Have Sex with Women in Jamaica”, in Karen Carpenter, editor, Interweaving Tapestries of Culture and Sexuality in the Caribbean, Cham, Switzerland: Palgrave Macmillan, →DOI, →ISBN, page 79

   Antonyms: stone