if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle

phrase

It is fruitless to speculate about counterfactual situations.

“"We would have won the match if we'd had a decent goalkeeper." "And if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle!"”

Similar
if I had wheels, I'd be a wagonif my grandmother had balls, she'd be my granddadif my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a bikeif my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a streetcarif my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a wagonif my sister had balls, she'd be my brotherif my uncle had a fanny, he'd be my auntif my uncle had tits, he'd be my aunt
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Meanings

phrase
  1. colloquialhumorousvulgarIt is fruitless to speculate about counterfactual situations.

    "We would have won the match if we'd had a decent goalkeeper." "And if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle!"

    Synonyms: if I had wheels, I'd be a wagon, if my grandmother had balls, she'd be my granddad, if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a bike, if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a streetcar, if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a wagon, if my sister had balls, she'd be my brother, if my uncle had a fanny, he'd be my aunt, if my uncle had tits, he'd be my aunt

Synonyms & antonyms

phraseIt is fruitless to speculate about counterfactual situations.

Similar
if I had wheels, I'd be a wagonif my grandmother had balls, she'd be my granddadif my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a bikeif my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a streetcarif my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a wagonif my sister had balls, she'd be my brotherif my uncle had a fanny, he'd be my auntif my uncle had tits, he'd be my auntif pigs had wings, they would fly

Translations

Catalan si la meva àvia tingués rodes seria una bicicleta
  • si la meva àvia tingués rodes seria una bicicletaphrase
Czech kdyby byly v prdeli ryby, nemusely by být rybníky
  • kdyby byly v prdeli ryby, nemusely by být rybníkyphrase
Dutch als mijn tante wieltjes had, dan was ze een locomotief
  • als mijn tante wieltjes had, dan was ze een locomotiefphrase
Finnish jos tädillä ois munat, niin täti olis setä, jos tädillä olisi munat, se olisi setä
  • jos tädillä ois munat, niin täti olis setäphrase
  • jos tädillä olisi munat, se olisi setäphrase
French si ma tante en avait, on l'appellerait mon oncle, avec des si on mettrait Paris en bouteille
  • si ma tante en avait, on l'appellerait mon onclephrase
  • avec des si on mettrait Paris en bouteillephrase
German wenn das Wörtchen „wenn“ nicht wär, wär mein Vater Millionär, wenn der Hund nicht geschissen hätte, hätte er den Hasen gefangen
  • wenn das Wörtchen „wenn“ nicht wär, wär mein Vater Millionärphrase
  • wenn der Hund nicht geschissen hätte, hätte er den Hasen gefangenphrase
Hungarian ha a nagyanyámnak kereke volna, gurulna
  • ha a nagyanyámnak kereke volna, gurulnaphrase
Italian con i se e con i ma la storia non si fa, se mia nonna avesse le ruote, sarebbe una carriola
  • con i se e con i ma la storia non si faphrase
  • se mia nonna avesse le ruote, sarebbe una carriolaphrase
Polish gdyby babcia miała wąsy, toby była dziadkiem
  • gdyby babcia miała wąsy, toby była dziadkiemphrase
Romanian dacă baba avea un coi, era ministru de război
  • dacă baba avea un coi, era ministru de războiphrase
Spanish si mi abuela tuviera ruedas, sería una bicicleta
  • si mi abuela tuviera ruedas, sería una bicicletaphrase
Turkish halamın taşakları olsaydı, amcam olurdu
  • halamın taşakları olsaydı, amcam olurduphrase
Cite this entry
APA

if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle. (n.d.). In WatkinsX Dictionary. Retrieved November 5, 2026, from https://dictionary.watkinsx.com/word/if%20my%20aunt%20had%20balls%2C%20she'd%20be%20my%20uncle

MLA

“if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.” WatkinsX Dictionary, https://dictionary.watkinsx.com/word/if%20my%20aunt%20had%20balls%2C%20she'd%20be%20my%20uncle. Accessed November 5, 2026.

Chicago

WatkinsX Dictionary, s.v. “if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle,” accessed November 5, 2026, https://dictionary.watkinsx.com/word/if%20my%20aunt%20had%20balls%2C%20she'd%20be%20my%20uncle.

Source: if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle on Wiktionary, CC BY-SA 4.0.