dildo

plural dildos · plural dildoes

1. A device used for sexual penetration or another sexual activity.

   Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.

   1. An artificial penis.

      3 more examples

      Adieu! faint-hearted instrument of lust; / That falselie hath betrayde our equale trust. / Hence-forth no more will I implore thine ayde, / Or thee, or man of cowardize upbrayde. / My little dilldo shall suply their kinde: / A knaue, that moues as light as leaues by winde; / That bendeth not, nor fouldeth anie deale, / But stands as stiff as he were made of steele; / And playes at peacock twixt my leggs right blythe, / And doeth my tickling swage with manie a sighe. / For, by saint Runnion! he'le refresh me well; / And neuer make my tender bellie swell.

      c. 1592–1593 (date written), Thomas Nash[e], “The Choosing of Valentines”, in John S[tephen] Farmer, editor, The Choise of Valentines: Or The Merie Ballad of Nash His Dildo […], London: Privately printed for subscribers only, published 1899, →OCLC, pages 18–19, lines 233–244

      "There, as my lord, with achromatic glass, / "O'erlooks St. James's Park, and on the grass, / "Beneath his mansion's half-closed window spies / "Two crouching urchins' gross obscenities, / "He turns his eager gaze, adjusts the screw, / "And brings their unwashed nudities in view. / "That spot, concealed by two o'er hanging hills, / "Foul sweat and fœtid excrement distils, / "Yet frowsy, there the pipe-clayed soldier sports, / "And bishops hold episcopalian courts. / "'Tis there the Bath empiric's finger guides, / "The oiled bougie ; and as the dildo slides / "Besmeared, to meet last night's descending meal, / "Oft makes the strictures he pretends to heal.

      1866, “Don Leon”, in Don Leon ; A Poem by the Late Lord Byron, Author of Childe Harold, Don Juan, &c., &c. and forming part of the private journal of His Lordship, supposed to have been entirely destoyed by Thos. Moore. To which is added Leon to Annabella; An epistle from Lord Byron to Lady Byron. (Poetry), →OCLC, pages 44, 51–52

      A few weeks ago, a post went viral in which the author seeks a public verdict on the question “AITA for asking my roommates to remove their dildos from the bathroom mirror in a way that was not kind?” The young poster had responded to the presence of newly washed sex toys in a shared space with a disgusted hostility and the dildo-owning flatmate complained the poster should have requested the removal more politely.

      2023 May 13, Van Badham, “The culture of mistrust is bleeding into our personal lives. No wonder there’s a sex recession”, in The Guardian, →ISSN

2. derogatoryslangvulgarAny device or implement.

   Call ghost hunters? Those fuckers will show up with gas powered dildos and burn the woods down.

   2019, Justin Blackburn, The Bisexual Christian Suburban Failure Enlightening Bipolar Blues, page 43

3. derogatoryslangAn idiot; a bore.

   I take back cars from dildos who don't pay their bills. Cool huh?

   1984, Alex Cox, Repo Man, spoken by Otto Maddox (Emilio Estevez)

   1 more example

   ‘Thompson?’ Heydon-Bayley had shrieked. ‘But he’s a complete dildo, surely?’ / ‘I like him,’ said Adrian, ‘he’s unusual.’ / ‘Graceless, you mean. Wooden.’

   1991 September, Stephen Fry, chapter 1, in The Liar, London: Heinemann, →ISBN, section I, page 15

   Synonyms: addle-brain, addlehead, addle pate, airhead, baboon, beanbrain, beetlebrain, beetlehead

4. A columnar cactus of the West Indies (Pilosocereus royenii).

   The commonest and most conspicuous of the cacti is the "dildoe" (Cereus Swartzii), a columnar form growing to as much as 20 feet in height, a plant the gross physiology of which is probably very similar to that of the sahuaro (Camegiea gigantea).

   1910, Forrest Shreve, “The coastal deserts of Jamaica”, in The Plant World: An Illustrated Monthly Journal of Popular Botany, volume 13, pages 129–130

present singular third person dildoes · participle present dildoing · participle past dildoed · past dildoed

1. transitiveTo penetrate with a dildo or with another object as if it were a dildo.

   And Venus (one that so much known is) Is Dildo’d by Cauda Draconis.

   1681, Homer Alamode, the Second Part in English Burlesque, or, Mock Poem upon the Ninth Book of the Iliads, page 48

   1 more example

   A muscular female prison guard was dildoing a petite brunette with a night stick.

   2010, Reggie Chesterfield, Goody Goes Bad!, page 40

alternative dildoides · alternative dildidoes

1. obsoleteA burden: a phrase or theme that recurs at the end of a verse of a folk song.

   oh Vrsula, Vrsula pity me with a dildo, dildo, dillory?

   c. 1600-1636, William Sampson, The Vow Breaker

   2 more examples

   He hath songs for man or woman, of all sizes;[…] with such delicate burthens of dildos and fadings,

   c. 1610–1611 (date written), William Shakespeare, “The Winters Tale”, in Mr. William Shakespeares Comedies, Histories, & Tragedies […] (First Folio), London: […] Isaac Iaggard, and Ed[ward] Blount, published 1623, →OCLC, [Act IV, scene iv]

   Will you buy a fine dog, with a hole in his head? With a dildo, dildo, dildo; […]

   c. 1600, Thomas Morley, Will You Buy a Fine Dog?

1. A small town on the island of Newfoundland, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada.