femme

plural femmes

1. A woman; a wife; (now chiefly Canada, US) a young woman or girl.First known use 19th c.

   Theodore J. Flicker and George Kirgo have penned a good script in which Elvis is played off against four femmes […].

   1983, Variety's Film Reviews: 1964–1967

   1 more example

   Then I turned to him and said, "O my lord, I have that to propose to thee wherein thou must not cross me; and this it is that, when we reach Baghdad, my native city, I offer thee my life as thy handmaiden in holy matrimony, and thou shalt be to me baron and I will be femme to thee."

   1885, Richard Francis Burton, The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Night 18

2. A lesbian or other queer woman whose appearance, identity etc. is seen as feminine as opposed to butch.First known use 20th c.

   Near-synonym: lipstick lesbian (sometimes differentiated)

   4 more examples

   Some of the most political dykes in town had already converted, tossing out their Levi's and Birkenstocks in favor of poodle skirts and heels. It was no longer a question of butch vs. femme, liberations vs. oppression. Clothes did not unmake the woman; clothes were just clothes.

   1986 [1984], Armistead Maupin, Babycakes (Tales of the City), pages 64–65

   Monique whispered something to a butch sitting near her. The butch crossed the room and approached our table. “Hey,” she called to me. I didn't look up. “Hey, femme, you wanna dance with a real butch?”

   1993, Leslie Feinberg, Stone Butch Blues, Los Angeles: Alyson Books, published 2003, →ISBN, page 32

   Given the myth that lesbian femmes will eventually leave their butches for men, there is an understandable unwillingness to acknowledge bisexual femmes, who really might do it — as indeed they have every right to.

   1997, Bi Academic Intervention, Bisexual Imaginary: Representation, Identity, and Desire, A&C Black, →ISBN, page 207

   I love butches, though. I dated a femme once. That was wrong on so many levels.

   2013, Michelle Gibson, Deborah Meem, Femme/Butch, page 103

   Synonyms: fem, lipstick lesbian[lipstick lesbian · Antonyms: butch

3. uncommonA person whose gender is feminine-leaning, such as a feminine non-binary person.

   [...] and any person who might partake in feminine expression (cis and trans women and men, nonbinary femmes...).

   2019, Kristen J. Sollee, Cat Call: Reclaiming the Feral Feminine, page xvii

   3 more examples

   The same is true of Goddess Spirituality spaces which are predicated on Radical Feminist rhetorics about Nature and the embodied experience – even those spaces which are open to trans women and nonbinary femmes may still fall back on language about the womb …

   2018, Queer Magic: Power Beyond Boundaries (Lee Harrington, Tai Fenix Kulystin), page 79

   […] there is no story of Black pain deeper than that of Black fat women and femmes. […] ¹ Gender expansive for women, femmes, and nonbinary folks.

   2019, The Lemonade Reader: Beyoncé, Black Feminism and Spirituality (Kinitra D. Brooks, Kameelah L. Martin)

   Jordan-Zachery offers two dominant scripts that are often written onto Black women's, femmes', and girls' bodies: The Ass and Strong Black Woman scripts.

   2019, Black Girl Magic Beyond the Hashtag (Julia S. Jordan-Zachery, Duchess Harris), page 21

4. USderogatoryAn effeminate or gay man.

   All I know is in this outfit I feel like a total femme! You know what? I don't have a problem with that.

   1993 September 11, “Operation Double 007”, in Mystery Science Theater 3000, spoken by Tom Servo

   1 more example

   "He's a femme." "A what?" "A femme," he repeats, louder this time. "Or didn't you notice the bony legs and fluffy hair? I bet he even had a manicure!" "You're jealous," I retort. "Jealous?" Randy huffs. "Of a fag?"

   2001 April 26, Lisa M. Tillmann-Healy, Between Gay and Straight: Understanding Friendship Across Sexual Orientation, Bloomsbury Publishing USA, →ISBN, page 19

comparative more femme · superlative most femme

1. CanadaUSentertainmentPertaining to a femme; feminine, female.First known use 20th c.

   High heels are something like neckties for women, in that it can be harder to look both formal and femme without them.

   2019 March 20, Summer Brennan, “Sex, power, oppression: why women wear high heels”, in The Guardian

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   Admittedly, Kiedis was concerned about the lack of femme rockers on the bill: the only women featured were in British band Lush, who would open each day's festivities before a few hundred curious onlookers.

   2009, Jeff Apter, Fornication: The Red Hot Chili Peppers Story

2. derogatoryEffeminate (of a man).First known use 20th c.
3. Characteristic of a feminine lesbian or queer woman.First known use 20th c.

   Her style was more femme than butch.

   2 more examples

   "We want to base our relationships on who we are now, not who we once were" says radical femme bisexual Linda Moore.

   1992, Deneuve

   In comparison to butch bisexual women, it may be easier for femme bisexual women to locate male and female dating partners […]

   2007, Beth A. Firestein, Becoming Visible: Counseling Bisexuals Across the Lifespan, Columbia University Press, →ISBN, page 305

   Antonyms: butch

present singular third person femmes · participle present femming · participle past femmed · past femmed

1. To feminize.

   “Aside from the major surgeries, and this Karen woman, all the roles that keep the programme going are filled by Dorley graduates.” She twirls a finger in the air. “We’re an endless loop: girls femming girls femming girls. A snake biting its own tail.”

   2024, Alyson Greaves, Welcome to Dorley Hall

   1 more example

   […] a fear of being shamed and accused by other men of being feminine or inadequately masculine. I sometimes use the term fear of being femmed to describe the general anxiety or homophobia that Kimmel describes. It is worth repeating that homophobia, or the fear of being femmed, is not necessarily a fear of homosexuality. Kimmel points out that traditionally homophobic terms such as queer and fag are used by young boys even before they understand what homosexuality is. Boys use these terms to sanction other males who act, think, or feel in ways that are considered feminine. […] It is a fear of that unknown space of vulnerability between men where the possibility of being femmed exists.

   2011, Michael E. Addis, Invisible Men: Men's Inner Lives and the Consequences of Silence, page 195