schmuck

plural schmucks · alternative schmock · alternative shmock · alternative shmok · alternative shmuck · alternative shmuk

1. JewishUSderogatoryslangA jerk; a person who is unlikable, detestable, or contemptible because they are stupid, foolish, clumsy, oafish, inept, malicious, or unpleasant.

   “You're born a schmuck and you'll die a schmuck. Welcome to hell, idiot.”

   2014 March 4, Nick Kroll, “Mercury Poisoning” (8:21 from the start), in Kroll Show, season 2, episode 8, spoken by George St. Geegland (John Mulaney)

   3 more examples

   One day my girlfriend, her boyfriend and I were sunbathing topless because that's Barbados - you can wear nothing if you want. And the Pepsi guy walks up and with my agent to meet us for lunch. I wondered if I should put on my top because I have a business relationship with him. I didn't want him to get offended because the rest of the beach had seen me with my top off. Meanwhile, as he's walking towards me he's saying to my agent "I hope she puts on her top.". He wasn't even being a schmuck, like wanting to see.

   1995 September, “The Playboy Interview: Cindy Crawford”, in Playboy

   “You’re an asshole whose best friends include Hitler’s wet dream and a Jew.” “Yea, well, I’m only friends with you because I want to shtoop your sister.” “Everybody wants to shtoop your sister,” Craig laughed. “No, everybody wants to shtoop Waters’ sister and you are not shtoopin’ my sister,” Joe replied. “None of you guys are shtooping my sister.” “Yea, we’ll see.” “In your dreams Jew boy,” Bruce continued. “Schmuck.” “Schmuck? Are you calling me a schmuck?” “Yea.” “Well, before I beat the crap out of you, what the fuck is a schmuck anyway?”

   2010, Tom Oathout, AN AMERICAN SON

   "SCP-7579 developed internal camouflage so a shmuck like yourself would speculate on it, then convince a more powerful shmuck unlike myself to buy it time. It's probably smarter than us, it's definitely smarter than you, and every second of its existence exponentiates the time and resources I'll have to spend cleaning up your mess."

   2022 October 18, Placeholder McD, “SCP-7579 [offset 1]”, in SCP Foundation, archived from the original on 20 Dec 2024

   Synonyms: assbag, assbreath, assbucket, asschunk, asscunt, assface, assfag, assfaggot

2. JewishUSderogatoryslangA deplorable, pitiful person.

   poor schmuck

   2 more examples

   Dear kindly social worker / They say go earn a buck / Like be a soda jerker / Which means like be a schmuck.

   1957, Stephen Sondheim, “Gee, Officer Krupke”, in West Side Story

   Bad vibrations? Sandy, I love you, but you're a schmuck. You were always young, Sandy, open. You were schmucky a lot of the time, but maybe schmuckiness is what you need to stay young and open.

   1971, Jules Feiffer, directed by Mike Nichols, Carnal Knowledge, spoken by Jonathan (Jack Nicholson)

present singular third person schmucks · participle present schmucking · participle past schmucked · past schmucked · alternative schmock · alternative shmock · alternative shmok · alternative shmuck · alternative shmuk

1. JewishUSderogatoryintransitiverareslangTo behave like a schmuck.

   […] there's actually a shortage of schmucks in America. As a result, there's big money in schmucking. The average schmuck earns $28,000 a year, plus benefits.

   2004, George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

2. JewishUSderogatoryrareslangtransitiveTo mash or smoosh.

   “She schmucked three deer on M-95,” del Olmo said. “I was two minutes behind her. Man, she blew them up! […]

   2020, Joseph Heywood, Shadow of the Wolf Tree, page 130

   2 more examples

   His buddy was supposed to be arriving from Helena that morning but had schmucked a mule deer buck with his vehicle so there was going to be a delay.

   2008, Richard Powell, Rode Hard and Put Away Wet, page 171

   Everyone gathered around the cake as Mitch and Liz prepared to cut the cake. She took a small piece in her hand, and Mitch said, "What are you doing with that, babe?" and she schmucked it into his mouth. He did the same right back.

   2021, Victoria Pearle Hart, Ladies of the Mountain

1. A surname from German.