goon

plural goons

1. countableuncountableA thug; a usually muscular henchman with little intelligence.

   Efforts to unionize were routinely met with clubbings, shootings, jailings, blacklistings and executions, perpetrated not only by well-armed legions of company goons, but also by police officers, deputies, National Guardsmen and even regular soldiers.

   2009 February 22, Kevin Baker, “Blood on the Street”, in New York Times

2. UScountableinformaluncountableA hired and paid person who is assigned to terrorize and kill opponents.
3. countableuncountableA fool; someone who is silly, stupid, awkward, or outlandish.

   Sending for the goon who sent for me / He's thinking he's hard, yeah, it's Little T

   2016 May 5, “Thinking He's Hard (Little T Reply)”, performed by Soph Aspin

   1 more example

   Mr. Campion appeared suitably impressed and she warmed to him. He was very easy to talk to with those long clown lines in his pale face, a natural goon, born rather too early she suspected.

   1963, Margery Allingham, chapter 5, in The China Governess: A Mystery, London: Chatto & Windus, →OCLC

4. countablederogatoryuncountablehobbiesAn enforcer or fighter.

   […]a scout from the Flames came down from Saskatoon, said, "There's always room on our team for a goon"

   2002, “Hit Somebody!”, performed by Warren Zevon

5. UKcountableuncountableWorld War II; PoW slang; World War II; PoW slangA German guard in a prisoner-of-war camp.
6. countableslanguncountableOne hired to legally kidnap a child and forcibly transport them to a boot camp, boarding school, wilderness therapy, or a similar rehabilitation facility.

   1 more example

   Owen Jenney, Ms. Hamburger's son, got gooned, though he said his goons turned out to be "really nice guys, actually." He is 19 now, a freshman in college, and he remembers arriving in the wilderness frightened and confused, angrily convinced that sending him across the country to Oregon was "way out of proportion" to the situation.

   2016 October 20, Laura Collins-Hughes, “Therapy Becomes Theater in 'Wilderness'”, in New York Times

7. AustraliacolloquialuncountableBox wine.

   1 more example

   Once a tap was designed in the 1970s goon climbed quickly to make up about 50 per cent of wine sales in Australia. In the days when restaurants sold "house wine", goon was known for being economical above anything else, and convenient, associated more with families on a budget and people on low incomes.

   2021 December 22, Adele Wessell, ABC News

8. InternetcountableuncountableA member of the comedy website Something Awful.

   These first two steps were time-sensitive. Not only did goons need to beat Imgur's mid-May deadline but they also needed to account for the possibility that Imgur would treat the download as some kind of attack and throttle it — a possibility that, it turns out, never came to pass.

   2023 May 8, Adi Robertson, “Something Awful is racing to save the best and worst of web history”, in The Verge, archived from the original on 12 Aug 2023

present singular third person goons · participle present gooning · participle past gooned · past gooned

1. slangtransitivehobbiesTo act like a goon; to act in an intimidating or aggressive way towards opponents.

   Imagine losing to a team that gooned it up and attempted to take out your best players with heavy hits?

   2019 June 13, Dan Shaughnessy, “What experts are saying about the Bruins' Stanley Cup loss”, in The Boston Globe, archived from the original on 22 Dec 2022

   2 more examples

   In the mid-week game against the Czech republic, the Czech team speared, slashed, tripped, gooned, and in more cases than I recall, crosschecked Canadian players in the teeth.

   1997 May 14, Gary Gambino Sr., “sports bytes 19 pt. 1”, in rec.sport.baseball (Usenet)

   Obviously, we wanted to kill Kozlov. We thought it was the dirtiest thing in the world. Things picked up after that. We were out for blood after that. We didn't goon them. They gooned us, really, and we just had to respond.

   2022 June 24, David Fleming, quoting Mike Ricci, “Fight Night at the Joe: Remembering the legendary Colorado Avalanche-Detroit Red Wings brawl of 1997”, in ESPN, archived from the original on 22 Dec 2022

2. neologismTo legally kidnap a child and forcibly transport them to a boot camp, boarding school, wilderness therapy, or a similar rehabilitation facility.

   Some described being "gooned" in the middle of the night by strongmen hired by their family to forcibly transport them to camp.

   2022 November 14, Nicolle Okoren, “The wilderness 'therapy' that teens say feels like abuse: 'You are on guard at all times'”, in Katharine Viner, editor, The Guardian, London: Guardian News & Media, →ISSN, →OCLC, archived from the original on 08 Apr 2026

   2 more examples

   Owen Jenney, Ms. Hamburger's son, got gooned, though he said his goons turned out to be "really nice guys, actually." He is 19 now, a freshman in college, and he remembers arriving in the wilderness frightened and confused, angrily convinced that sending him across the country to Oregon was "way out of proportion" to the situation.

   2016 October 20, Laura Collins-Hughes, “Therapy Becomes Theater in 'Wilderness'”, in The New York Times, New York, N.Y.: The New York Times Company, →ISSN, →OCLC, archived from the original on 23 Oct 2016

   He was soon bungled out of the Patterson family’s California home and into a taxi on the way to the airport. He was being "gooned" - forcibly transported to a place aimed at correcting naughty children's behaviour.

   2022 October 9, Rozina Sabur, “Troubled US teenagers 'snatched' at their parents' request”, in Chris Evans, editor, The Daily Telegraph, London: Telegraph Media Group, →ISSN, →OCLC, archived from the original on 16 Oct 2025

present singular third person goons · participle present gooning · participle past gooned · past gooned

1. InternetintransitiveslangstrictlyTo masturbate for long periods of time without reaching a climax.

   Surfing meaning to surf decently most normal surfspots in the world, no gooning out.

   2006 June 28, LeeD, “Re: Advice for windsurfing articles”, in rec.windsurfing (Usenet)

   5 more examples

   Dirt bike riding is the pursuit of skill and technique in a challenging environment. To me, its not about gooning before friends to be the baddest one on the block. Leave that for other stuff.

   1998 August 11, docto...@msn.com, “Fellow Riders/Racers... Sanity Check!”, in rec.motorcycles.dirt (Usenet)

   If I'm watching a game from home (instead of a get-together or a bar), I've usually got Trillian fired up, and am gooning and being gooned by others doing the same thing I'm doing as a game progresses.

   2010 October 12, Jim Gysin, “NBC - Nothing But Collapsing ratings”, in rec.arts.tv (Usenet)

   The 23-year-old posted some photos on Instagram on Saturday of himself gooning around for the camera.

   2015 December 27, “Dennis Quaid's son Jack posts hilarious photo posing with his dad and siblings pulling faces on Christmas Day”, in Daily Mail, London: DMG Media, →ISSN, →OCLC, archived from the original on 24 Jan 2016

   To goon, Christfister says, "Instead of powering through and jerking off 100 percent to orgasm, you ease off around 90 percent and slowly build up" to the point of no return.

   2020 November 21, Michael Stahl, “The Psychedelic Science of 'Gooning' — Or Masturbating Into a Trance”, in MEL Magazine, archived from the original on 07 Jul 2022

   Some gooners use poppers and prescription or illicit drugs to enhance their cave time. “I love to use Adderall or Vyvanse when I goon, it gets you super hyper fixed on the porn, and also very slightly dulls your sensitivity, making you stay on the edge for literally fucking HOURS,” Redditor 420j0bud told me.

   2023 March 13, Samantha Cole, quoting u/420j0bud, “Enter the Goon Cave, Where Porn and Masturbation Is All That Exists”, in Vice, archived from the original on 13 Jun 2023

   Synonyms: edge, fap, abuse, bash one out, bate, beat it, beat off, crank one out

   1. InternetbroadlyintransitivestrictlyTo masturbate (in general).

      Synonyms: edge, fap, abuse, bash one out, bate, beat it, beat off, crank one out

plural goons

1. AustraliaInternetcountableinformalintransitiveA wine flagon or cask.

   We drank goons of cheap wine.

   2009, Stephen Cummings, Will It Be Funny Tomorrow, Billy?: Misadventures in Music, page 11

2. AustraliaInternetinformalintransitiveuncountableCheap or inferior cask wine.

   ‘On the night of our school graduation he stole a flagon of goon wine and disappeared into the woods. The police found him the next day asleep on the creek.[…]’

   2010, Patrick Holland, The Mary Smokes Boys, page 128

   2 more examples

   With these instructions, we take turns sipping the wine directly from the bottle on the beach. It′s not the classiest thing to do but the fact that it′s in a bottle already makes it classier than all the boxes of goon we′ve consumed this trip.

   2010, Jason Leung, This All Encompassing Trip: Chasing Pearl Jam Around the World, page 384

   Red wine was consumed largely by posh folk, white wine meant goon, mention of a Jägerbomb would have sent its father ducking for cover, and ‘sex on the beach’ meant just that.

   2011, E.C. McSween et al., Boganomics: The Science of Things Bogans Like, unnumbered page

alternative go'on · alternative go-on

1. InternetintransitiveuncountableA Sino-Japanese kanji pronunciation layer, considered the first Sino-Japanese kanji reading type used in Japan.

   The Buddhist term 権化 is read as gonge, using the kanji's goon readings.

plural Goons

1. A surname.

plural Goons

1. Alternative letter-case form of goon (“a member of the comedy web site Something Awful”).

   Goons posted and discussed a growing assortment of Slender Man fan art, videos, and wiki entries they had found in other digital spaces. One Goon even claimed that someone in their offline life with no connection to Something Awful had—without prompting—told them all about the Slender Man.

   2023, Andrew Peck, “Circulation”, in Digital Legend and Belief: The Slender Man, Folklore, and the Media, Madison, Wis.: The University of Wisconsin Press, →ISBN, page 74

   2 more examples

   The 90,000 registered forum users can pretty much depend on an instant Goon fraternity in almost whatever game they’re interested in. Thanks to a history of gaming exploits and the general scatologically angled humor of Something Awful, the Goons have a reputation as being a disruptive influence in many games.

   2008, Jim Rossignol, “[Reykjavik] Model Living”, in This Gaming Life: Travels in Three Cities, Ann Arbor, Mich.: The University of Michigan Press, →ISBN, page 177

   Not all the message boards celebrate the griefers in their midst: Kyanka finds griefing lame, as do many Goons and /b/tards. Nor do the griefers themselves all get along. Patriotic Nigras, /b/tards all, look on the somewhat better-behaved Goon community—in particular the W-Hats, a Second Life group open only to registered Something Awful members—as a bunch of uptight sellouts.

   2008 January 18, Julian Dibbell, “Mutilated Furries, Flying Phalluses: Put the Blame on Griefers, the Sociopaths of the Virtual World”, in Steven Johnson, editor, The Best Technology Writing 2009, New Haven, Conn.: Yale University Press, published 2009, →ISBN, page 12